===ENGLISH VERSION===

I got mail from one of my junior high school friend,
saying that one of our pals has become a parent!
I have 8 pals from my old school, and only me is single, still.
They started getting married and having child around the age of 30,
and that was when, they started "lecturing" me about
how big failure I was not to be able to produce offsprings.

They used to be my pals.
We used to hand around until early morning just to get high!
Why and why the river between us gets so deep.
How come did we come so far away from each other?

At work, mommy colleagues are making excuses
not to be able to c0me to work on time because of their children
getting sickor their nannies being absent.
They come late and leave early.
And that's so acceptable.

I have some days, too, that I have a hard time coming to work on time.
Don't they care if I got dumped from my fiancé,
and I was heart-broken?

A week ago, I had a first fight with my new boyfriend, and
from his own mouth, that familiar "lecture" was coming out.
So many people have judged me of my life style, life choices,
and even the way I am.

I am too confident, sometimes, and I'm even too stubborn.
I know that.
But a friend after another saying that something's wrong with me
and that keeps me preventing me from getting settled is really hurting me.

What I want is someone as confident as I am and even as stubborn as I am
comes into my life saying, "You're OK as the way you are".
And with that someone, I wanna spend the rest of my life with,
loving each othercaring for one another.
Am I asking too much?
Am I a daydreamer?

After the first fight, my boyfriend left me with saying
that he was sorry.
He was sorry that he yelled at me and cursed me like
he never had done before.
When I heard him saying those words,
I was shivering in my bed.
I didn't know why.
It could be my leftover angry,
or it could be our leftover fight,
or just it was too cold out that morning,
or I was not at all happy about getting up at 5 o'clock.

Now I think that because I couldn't digest a lot of feelings and thoughts,
I was mentally, spiritually, and physically shivering.

That night of the fight, we ordered a pizza, instead of dining out.
I was trying so hard not to let my denied anger running under my skin come out.

I had no appetite, but I tried to swallow a piece of pizza
with dosen of beers.
And next morning, I woke up with a minor hangover
and a little bit of shivering, still.