My life is, realy, f**ked up

My current boyfriend keeps telling me that
I should be more "young-looking" (and I don't know how....)
And he keeps me telling that he wants to be with someone "young-looking".
Isn't that unhealthy?

I've been trying so hard to convince him that
I can't become something that I am not, but
he keeps telling and telling, that, I am not good enough.
And I'm tired of trying.

Then I've re-united with my ex, who used to say that
I was the most talented and interesting person he had ever been with,
and he encouraged me to become whatever I wanted to become.
And I've realized that I shouldn't have put up with such a bullshit
that my boyfriend has been putting on me.

I am gonna try hard to become who I wanna become.
Not the one that other people want me to become.
I can't become into something that I am not.

I am beautiful the way I am.
It took me years and years to have come to see this simple fact.